A Girlfriend’s Guide to Restaurant Etiquette
More than simple table manners, there are a number of courtesies and etiquette rules to follow when dining in a restaurant.
1. Honor your reservation.
A no-show or late arrival costs the restaurant and staff money in lost revenue and tips. If you make a dinner reservation, be sure to honor it or let the restaurant know as far in advance as possible.
2. Dress appropriately.
When dining in a high-end establishment, dress the part! If I am ever unsure of what to wear to a particular restaurant, I will look through their photos and their location tag on Instagram.
3. Place your napkin in your lap when seated.
The exception to this rule is if you are being hosted by someone, then you should follow their lead throughout the meal– starting with placing your napkin in your lap when they do.
4. When a woman approaches the table, a man should stand.
This is a traditional etiquette rule and I believe we should continue to honor it. Note: this practice applies to social etiquette. In a business setting it is not done.
5. Wait for your server to come to you.
Snapping, waving, or calling to your server is simply not appropriate. Wait for them to come to you. If you desperately need their attention, try to catch their eye line.
6. Keep the table clear of personal items.
Cell phones, purses, wallets, sunglasses, and the like should not be placed on the table. Leaving your phone on the table is a distraction and shows that you are not fully present with your dining companions. You should not use your phone for the duration of the meal.
Pro Tip: If you are waiting for an important call, tell your companions in advance and place your phone beneath your leg on your seat.
7. Treat your server with the utmost respect.
This means look at your server when they are speaking and when you are ordering, say “please” and “thank you,” and if something is wrong with your meal, communicate this politely and discreetly.
8. Wait for everyone to be served before eating.
If you’re still waiting but others have their food, be sure to tell your companions they may begin without you. Especially if it is hot.
9. Use non-verbal etiquette to communicate with your server.
Non-verbal cues in the form of cutlery positions can tell your server whether you have finished or are still working on your dish. Use the open position to indicate you have not yet finished, and the closed position to indicate they may take your plate (explained in more detail here). Similarly, a napkin placed upon your seat means you have only left the table temporarily.
10. There is no need to explain when leaving the table temporarily.
If you need to use the restroom, there is no need to explain where you are going. Simply say, “Please, excuse me,” when leaving the table.
11. Push your chair in when leaving the table.
Pushing your chair back into its proper position is simply good manners. It helps keep aisles clear in tight spaces and looks much tidier.
12. If you require separate checks, tell your server in advance.
It is far easier for a server to split the bill if they are aware in advance. They can keep track of what each person orders and keep them on separate checks. However, it is important to note that this is a courtesy, not a right. Many restaurants limit the number of separate checks and/or how many cards can be used to split a bill. Large parties should plan in advance when it comes to how they will pay.
13. Tip fairly and generously.
Standard practice in the United States is to tip 20% for good service. Even if you felt your service was not up to par, you still must tip. Restaurant staff are paid significantly below minimum wage, as tips are intended to make up the bulk of their income. Whether you agree with the practice of tipping or not, cutting into someone’s wages because they made a simple mistake is unfair and unkind.
